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I am a carpenter and designer, living in a small island community on the largest freshwater lake in the world. I am deeply invested in disrupting the cycle of intergenerational trauma in my own lineage and my communities. I am more interested in the exploration of questions than the proving of answers.

Stop Making this So Difficult

August 27, 2018
Mystery Mountain to Cascade Lodge
Superior Hiking Trail Thru-Hike: Day 13

Well, it's raining and I gotta take a shit. That is my primary gripe, but I'm going to instead start the day by talking about things I'm grateful for.

I'm grateful that the inside of my tent and all my stuff except my shoes my hat and my tent are dry. I'm grateful I got enough water last night so that I'm not sitting here thirsty right now. I'm really grateful that Alex ran into a guy in the Wind River Range to tell him about the incoming thunderblizzard so he's not caught in a high-altitude snowstorm in Wyoming. I'm grateful for Al. I'm grateful I've been able to hike this much. I am grateful for rain in general, that it keeps things growing and flowing and alive. I'm grateful for all the good food I have stocked up in my tent. I'm grateful for such a big battery to be giving me reliable power while I hike. I'm grateful for a sunrise that makes everything just a little bit cheerier and seem more possible. I'm grateful for my brother.

Ok in all honesty though, now I HAVE to go to the bathroom. It's only raining more now despite the radar having basically nothing in the way of storms (like I can read radar, right).

Back from the bathroom. Waited until 7am to go. Gosh it's so hard to tell when it's raining with all the fog and rain falling from the trees.

Heard from Alex, he is packing up camp and bugging out before the thunderblizzard hits in Wyoming. I'm glad he's getting out of there.

There is a lodge in 16 miles that sounds ridiculously enticing fro $99/night. But I could also be spending that $99 on something else. I think about the article I read of the woman hiking this trail who spent every night in a hotel. That’s not me. I think about how tight we’ve been on money and how far $99 could go towards something else. I can’t spend it. I think about how wussy I’ll be if every time the weather turns I just hop into a hotel. No way, I’m tougher than that.

And then I remember something. That I don’t have to be tough. I remember my friend TJ telling me that sometimes our strengths are also our weaknesses. And I understand, in that moment, that I am making this trail hard for myself. Because I don’t want to be a baby, or a wuss, or I want to show how tough I am. But I already am tough, I don’t need to prove it to anyone. And the only person I’d be proving anything to is myself.

I oscillate between rationalizing staying out in the wilderness, and rationalizing booking the hotel room. And then, I make a decision. I booked it! For ME! Not for anyone else. And if it's lovely, awesome. If it sucks, I'll still have dry gear and be clean and have a warm bed to rest in and get my equipment charged up. Wow. the positives sound way better. HOT SHOWER. Ok, 17 miles to go. I can check in at 3pm so let's get outta here! Something certain to look forward to! Yay!!

Cascade Lodge

At Cascade Lodge now, man it is soooo cozy. I went to the restaurant and spent a stupid $40 on food and beer because it was happy hour and actually it was pretty cheap for all the food I got. And I had two great beers. Ok stop justifying it. I did laundry, the bed is sooo cozy, and I can hear the thunderstorm outside and I'm not sleeping in it. Also, I had a sit-shower and it was absolutely fantastic.

Talked to the bar guy and he used to work in Denali, now he is here on the North Shore of Minnesota.

If I finish this hike in 3 days then I finish in sunshine. If I take longer I finish in the rain. I would like to not finish in the rain, so we're going to see what we can do about that. I'm skipping my resupply in Grand Marais because I have too much food, and when I wake up tomorrow I can seriously pare down my pack weight or I can also just hike with what I've been hiking with. I do want to tape up my shoulders because they look NOT good. Chafed and blistered through the first layer of skin.

Tofte and Temperance